A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed “Dad.” With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands…
Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you wound not approve because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact she’s much older than I. But it’s not only the passion Dad; she’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people in the commune — for all the cocaine and ectasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15, I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I am sure we’ll be back to visit so that you can get to know your many grandchildren.
your son, Joshua
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report card that’s on the kitchen table. Call me when it’s safe for me to come home!