Three Women in a Job Interview

One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.” When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.” Which one of the three women got the job?

A. The one with the biggest tits!

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A Guy and His Wife

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”

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A young blonde

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”
The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

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Two factory workers

Two factory workers were talking. “I know how to get some time off from work.” said the man.
“How do you think you will do that?” said the other one. He proceeded toshow her…by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down.
The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he was doing? “I’m a light bulb” answered the guy.
“I think you need some time off,” said the boss. So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The second worker began walking out too.The boss asked her where did she think she was going?
“Home. I can’t work in the dark.”

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Child Custody

Akpos and his wife are in court for divorce.They ask the court to determine who gets custody of the child.

The wife jumps up and says, “Your honour, I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody.”

The judge turns to Akpos and asks what he has to say.

AKPOS: (calmly) Your honour, if I put my ATM card into an ATM machine and cash comes out, whose cash is it? The machine Or mine?”

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Slaps

I went to a cinema with Akpos, on getting to the cinema we saw a bald guy, I showed the guy to Akpos and said “Look at fresh head, this one is good to slap, but I’m afraid of the guy’s face”.

Akpos then said to me “Ofego, you fear a lot, I will slap that head and nothing will happen”.

I dared him to do it and he went to where the guy was sitting and gave him a HOT SLAP on his head. The guy was surprised, and wanted to react, then Akpos said “Bros Ofego, so you are here, and we have been looking for you at home!”

The guy responded “I’m not Bros Ofego, maybe we look alike”, Akpos murmured “maybe.”

After some minutes In the cinema, Akpos called me again and said “Ofego, I will slap that guy again and nothing will happen.” I answered “ok”

He went to the guy, gave him a hot slap and said “Bros Ofego stop lying, I say na u be dis…”

The guy said to him angrily “I’m not Bros Ofego,please, let me be”. The guy then left that seat and went to the front seat.

After some minutes Akpos called me and said “Ofego, I will slap that guy again and nothing will happen.”

This time i told him that “if anything happens, I will pretend I don’tknow him.”

He stood up, went to the front seat, gave the guy a very hot slap and said”Bros Ofego, so na here you dey, I come dey slap another person for back!”.

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Game Show

A Ghanaian, a Kenyan and a Nigerian entered into a game show.

The host explained the rules, “I’m going to say jokes for an hour straight and whoever doesn’t laugh at the end receives $5000!”

The host starts and after 15 minutes the Ghanaian is out. He continues and after 40 minutes the Kenyan is out.

When the clock hits 59 minutes he gives up on making the Nigerian laugh. All of a sudden, the Nigerian starts laughing.

The host, looking bemused, asks, “Why are you cracking up now, all you had was one more minute to win the prize and I didn’t even tell a joke now?”

The Nigerian replies, “I know, but I just got the first joke!”

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