Funny politician joke

A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crash near his farm. When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened.
.
Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them.
One of the police men asked with shock; “are you sure they were all dead”?
.
Farmer: Some of them were screaming, “we are still alive”.
But I couldn’t believe them.
You know, these politicians. They can lie.

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Zuma Speaks

After President Jacob Zuma’s statement […] that all the problems in
South Africa started with the arrival of Jan van Riebeeck in 1652…..

I know, I know… We had the same problems in England, you know…

First we had the Picts and the Scots. And then came the Romans who
stuck around for about four centuries. Then we had the Angles and the
Saxons and all those other Germanic tribes. Oh ho! Then came the Danes
and their Viking mates, a nauseating bunch of horny helmeted rapists
and looters they were.

Nevertheless, the Danes were eventually displaced by the Normans, who
turned out to be Frenchmen in disguise – but we were a bit slow to
recognise the fact until it was too late; anyway, they were led by the
Duke of Normandy, who was a real bastard, and who gave our wimpy king
a right one in the eye. (The bloody French are still hanging around
with their cheese and their bread and their wine and their accordion
music and their fancy restaurants, seducing our people away from our
culture of slap chips with custard.)

And then, and then, came the Dutch when King William and Queen Mary of
Orange popped over and started causing nonsense with the Irish at the
Battle of the Boyne. The Irish have never completely forgiven us, so
they came over and settled all our building sites. Then the Germans
came back again, surreptitiously, and occupied the top of the Mall in
Buckingham Palace…

And where are we now…? Now we have Arabs, Pakistanis, Indians,
Caribbeans, Syrians, the Oz, Italians, Americans, Canadians, Poles,
Portuguese, Saudis , Kuwaitis, Moroccans, Egyptians, Iranians,
Palestinians, Israeli Jews, Ethiopians, Somalis, Nigerians,
Rhodesians, Scots (to run the government)… and (whoa!) South
Africans…

It has been going on for two thousand years. It’s an outrage…

And yet, and yet… All of these people (well most!) have contributed
to make England and the English a great and democratic nation. And
yet, I have never felt the slightest inclination to bomb Rome, to
shatter the Pyramids, to close a Pakistani restaurant, to nuke the
Ka’aba in Mecca, to blow up a bus in Jerusalem, to chop off the head
of a Nigerian etc. (And even if I have, I have controlled myself from
saying so).

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