Bus driver jokes

Malema walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, “If my dad was a bull and my mom a
cow I’d be a little bull.” The driver starts getting mad at noisy Malema, who continues with, “If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant, I would be a little elephant.” Malema goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry
and yells at him, “What if your dad was a fool and your mom was a prostitute?!”
Malema smiles and says, “I would be a bus driver!”

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Naughty boy jokes

A father has two naughty kids who are always making trouble in the streets. So he decides to lock them in the house. But the naughty kids makes a hole just above the doorframe and gains freedom back to the streets. The father realising the escape thinks of mending the hole but is too short to make it to the hole not standing on something.
He calls his wife and climbs on her shoulders to reach to where he wants to mend. A friend of the father asks the two boys where their father is and they replied that “father is on top of mother closing the hole we came through”

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TELEPHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN LADIES

Mary : Hello love!
Sarah: Hello babes, how are
you
today?
Mary : I’m fine dear, I’ve missed
you a lot
Sarah: Me too boo
Mary : Im calling just to inform
you
that i will pay you a visit this
afternoon.
Sarah: Ok hun, it will be a great
pleasure to have you, i’ll be
waiting.
*AFTER THE CALL*
Mary : Oh gosh, am going to
visit
that witch today.
Sarah: Mmm nkos’yam lelixoki
lizovakasha la, she thinks i’ll
buy
her drinks with my money, she
must be joking, akangaz kahle
mina.
TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
BETWEEN GENTS
S’bu : Where you at slima?
John: At home Mad man
S’bu: How’s your drunkard
father?
John: He’s cool and in bed with
with
your mother.
S’bu: Haha, you are a fool, i’m
coming over, I wanna charge
my
phone.
John: ok slima, bring money for
a
few beers
S’bu: Ok sucker, sharp
AFTER THE CALL
John: S’bu can be funny at
times
but always a great companion
anytime.
S’bu: John is just a reliable
friend
Lesson:
>Most girls are good at
pretending,
always nice to each other, but
never
like each other.
>Most boys are always rude to
each other but always got each
other’s backs.
True or False??

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Wife Jokes

Husband sends wife an SMS I got hit by a car outside the office. Linda brought me to the
hospital. They have been making tests and X- rays.The blow to my head, though very strong,will not have lasting or serious damages. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and a compound fracture in my left leg. They also may have to amputate my right leg
Wife replies: Who is Linda ?

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Mathew Chapter 7 versus 7

GUYs i saw a catholic sister last night and decided to give her a lift in my car. As the car was moving, then i placed my hand on the sister’s laps pretending i was looking for the gear lever.

The sister cast a glance at me and said; Mtcheew “matthew chapter 7 verse 7” and i quickly removed my hand. After short time,i placed my hand again on the sister’s lap and the sister said to me again “matthew 7 verse 7” i nervously removed my hand.

The sister reached her destination and got off the car, cast another glance at me
and said “So u don’t read your Bible!” And when i got home, i opened my Bible to Matthew 7verse7 and it says “ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN TO YOU”….

I fainted…

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House girl asking for a salary raise

A maid wanted a salary raise. Madam
wanted 3 reasons why she wanted a raise.
Maid: I can cook Better than you.
Madam: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told me.
Madam: OK, second reason?
Maid: I can iron better than you.
Madam: Who told you that?
Maid: Your husband told me.
Madam: OK, and the third reason?
Maid: I’m also better in bed than you. “This
time Madam was furious” Madam: Did my
husband say that?
Maid: No the garden boy told me I’m better
in bed than you are.

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TO A SPECIAL LADY..

I wana be the relaxer for your korrils
I wana be the tissue for your snot
I wana be the spray when u smell frot.
I wana be the soap when you skirf
I wana be the lotion for your dry diff I wana be the stimorol to stimulate your
breath
I wana be the rollers that makes your curls
I wana be the specs through which you peep
I wana be the swirlkous when you go sleep
I wana be the roll-on when your pitte smell I wana be your clearasil when your face looks
like a vrikkadel
I wana be the air fresherner for when your
poep smell like hell
I wana be the air to give your shoes some
inspiration I wana be the toilet to catch your flactuation
I wana be the laxative for your constipation
Baby, all I wana be is… Your
Everything!!!!!!

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Girl and guy jokes

There was a guy got in the taxi and sat next to a beautiful lady, and proceeded to start approaching her;

GUY: “Hello lady, is your name Google?”

LADY: “No, what’s makes you think that’s my name?”

GUY: “Cuz you got everything I am looking for….”

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